The Right Side

Isn't it funny how some things just change? Perusing facebook really makes this realisation come to term. My family has been friends with this family for years; they have four daughters, we have four daughters. One of the daughters was a long-time single gal. Then, all of a sudden, she met a man, got married, and now they have a baby. Then there's this girl who's a friend of my sister's. She got married a couple of weeks ago. Her and her husband had been planning for this wedding for something like eighteen months. I remember when they announced it. Now, all of sudden poof! They're hitched.

Somedays I can't actually believe I'm here. Back home, I got so used to hearing other people and their radical and exciting changes. I'm living my dream. Not in it's entirety or fullness as of yet, but I'm on the yellow brick road. I still defend Melbourne like a trooper. I love it's intricate laneways, and capacity to understand that landmarks and 'must see places' have been thoughtfully planted in appropriate parts of town. But Sydney is growing on me (shock! horror!). Last night was term one finished for NIDA. Two week break, then eight weeks left. Eight weeks left of the reason I moved up here. There is another course I can do. Hell, there are fifty other courses I could do. But I can't do courses forever. And at this point, without a job, I can't realistically stay here. So, I'm in search for a job that will give me reason to stay. As much as I miss my family, and as much as there is this constant ache in me, I feel like I'm making progress. I do. In fact, I feel like something exciting's going to happen. Revelations are becoming apparent to me daily.

*interruption*

Now is our chance to choose the right side. God is holding back to give us that chance. It won't last forever

C.S.Lewis

Gosh Clive Staples was amazing.

*end of interruption*

My daily walk/run was taxing today. It started with an air of reluctance (not unusual), and was just plumb hard. As I was lolloping up gradual incline of the final stretch of 'running country,' one of these revelations became apparent; this was how I had been living my life. Literally on empty. Without God. No wonder every damn day was such a damn struggle. My breath was extremely laboured, and it was hard to try and squeeze air to the root of my being, while continuing to run up and down the hilly area. Having worked today, I had subsisted on an apple until 3pm, upon which my shift finished, and I ran to the nearest bakery to buy a roll. At home, I snacked on a peach and a plum, to ensure sufficient fuel for the run, but it hadn't been enough. I survived, of course, and in this life I will keep on surviving if I choose to live as a sleepy Christian. But I want more than that. I want vitality, and colour and gumboots splashing in puddles, and a manfriend, and more than breathless and empty survival.

So I choose this right side.